Who You Wanna Be?

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Be Who You Want

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Do You Value Friendship?

These lovely students of mine (L-R: Shima, Fatin, CT, Me, Amal, Zulaikha), I heart so much. They made me cry this morning. They've showed me how much they love and appreciate each other *sobs*

As well all know, FRIENDSHIP is a gift of God. Some of us are blessed with good friends. But as it happens, these friendships are taken for granted in some cases and "not valued". It is similar to a case of these five students of mine. They are all my Darjah 6 students and my ex-dancers. After the hard work in their PSR, it is time now they started to be active again after being "banned" from following any ECAs, especially in dancing which they love so much!

We will be celebrating our double celebration - "Hari Raya and Hari Guru Celebrations" on October 28th. And my Headmistress asked me to take the Darjah 6 students to get involve in this event especially in the stage performances. So the Darjah 6 teachers had divided the students into different groups - dance, drama, choir. The five students above are all involved in dancing EXCEPT for one - Nadia (she's involved in the Drama).
(L-R: Nadia and Zulaikha)

What happened just now really touched my heart. They all came up to me with their red eyes and nose. I asked why. But no one dared to speak up, so I brought them and sat together infront of the Futsal field. I let them speak and tell me what made them cried but to no avail. All they did was crying. So I said to them that it was ok to cry if that wod make them feel better but promise me to tell what happened. And Amal finally said sumthin.

The first reason Amal told me was "CT Cher..." I asked "Kenapa CT?" Then she started to cry again. And so did the rest. I was getting worried. And Amal tried her best to speak even when she was crying and said, "CT ingatkan Mulah.." and that really startled me for a moment. CT has just recently lost her brother in the horrendous car accident and got badly burnt (which I think some of you mite have heard of the news) *Al-Fatihah* So I said few words and advices to CT and to everyone and said "Jgntah nangis lagi. Cher tau cemana rasanya bila teringat yang sudah meninggal. But tani mesti ingat, semua yang hidup pasti akan mati. Tani pun cematu jua nanti. Sedekahkan saja fatihah untuk Mulah. Sakit Mulah ni if kamu nangis. Jgn nangis lagi k?" Alhamdulillah, they stopped. But then, came to my knowledge that it wasnt the MAIN reason that they cried. It was another reason and that another reason was NADIA. I was surprised and asked "Kenapa Nadia? Apa d buatnya sampai kamu nangis ani?" So I asked one of my student to call Nadia to see me and on an instant, she was there.

Nadia with CT

I asked Nadia "Nadia, apa Nadia cakap sampai durang CT ani menangis? Apa yang Cher dangar pasal taraf-taraf ani? Tell me Nadia. What is it? Apa masalah kamu semua ani?" Everyone was quiet. No one wanted to explain to me what actually was said and done. So I ended up saying "Kamu bagitau Cher awal ani or never talk to Cher anymore lapas ani. If kamu masih sayangkan Cher, say something. Cher mau tau and Cher nda mau kamu semua jadi cemani. Cher pun merasa mcm kamu. Dulu Cher pun selalu kelaie sama kawan-kawan but at the end bebaik. And Cher nda mau kamu kelaie. Kamu masani Dh 6, tahun depan nda lagi sama2. Mungkin ada yang sama skulah. Nda kan kamu kan meninggalkan skulah ani dengan bermasam2 muka? Mau jua happy kan? Bah Amal, tell Cher. Apa masalahnya sebenarnya?"

Fatin, Nadia, CT

Amal finally spoke and said "Kemarin masa Ugama kami beibun2 sama Nadia. Kemarin kami happy sama2 satu kumpulan tapi hari ani..." And everyone started to cry and I was still in the unclear mode. So I said "Its ok to cry now and I think I get the picture of the problem." Amal continued, "Asal kami kan aga Nadia, ya lari. Kami kan cakap pun ya lari. Kami nda mau berpisah Cher" and all of them began to cry even worst than before. So I said to Nadia, "Nadia, Cher faham napa Nadia cemani. Mebbe Nadia rasa Nadia kana tinggal2kan oleh durang. Bukannya cematu. Cher pilih durang menari pasal Nadia sudah kana ambil untuk Drama. Cher nda boleh bawa Nadia menari. Cher nda minda plang kan bawa Nadia ikut menari but Nadia sudah awal kana booking untuk Drama. Time belatih payah if Nadia kan ikut menari and drama jua. And Nadia nda boleh buat cemani arah durang. Cuba Nadia liat ni, durang nangis. Nda Nadia nampak durang sayangkan Nadia? Durang belima ani sayangkan Nadia. Nadia nda sayangkan durang?" I was really expecting an answer from Nadia but she didnt answer me at all.

So I ended up the confusions and said "Bah sudah tah, Cher nda mau liat kamu nda happy saat2 akhir kamu d SRDO ani. Cher mau kamu bekawan sampai ke akhir hayat. No matter what. Walaupun nanti kamu lain2 skulah, kamu mesti tetap menjadi kawan sampai bila2. Cher nda akan salahkan sapa2 dalam hal ani. Yang penting, tani menjaga perasaan and persahabatan yang sudah lama terjalin ani. Kamu bekawan dari PRA sudah. 7 tahun sama2 d skulah ani. Good times. Bad times. Tawa. Nangis pun sama2 pernah tani lalui. Bah besalam2 tah kamu semua. Hug and Kiss. Cher mau liat kamu bersalam, hug and kiss. Bah. Lajutah."

Amal made the 1st movement. At first no tears were involved. Then my tears fell down my cheeks cause it was my first time seeing my students being so passionate about their friendship )'= ALL cried out. And it reminded me so much abt what happened few years back )'= Friends leaving in a flash and it took me at least a year plus to have SOME of them back in my life )'= I just wish that this moment will happened to me and Im still waiting for a very very CLOSE FRIEND of mine to open up her heart to forgive me even till the day I die )'=

Everything is relative in life. We value what we don't have and give less valuable to what is freely available with us. Friendship is one such relationship.We should value friendships. A good friend is rarely judgmental. We can be open in our behavior with our good friends because we know that they will not judge us. We can enjoy this freedom only with friends. It is nothing short of a blessing, because with other people our actions and behavior are always calculated and guarded and that takes away lot of pleasure from our life.

A friend can be depended upon to share all our problems and sorrows. This sharing may not reduce the impact of loss but helps us to unburden ourselves. This is no small gift of friendship. A friend gives us this gift. During our times of trouble, only a friend comes forward and gives us encouragement and hope. With that inspiration one begins afresh. At times in life when we feel totally devastated and hopeless, and when our self-esteem reaches a big low, a friend helps us regain confidence in ourselves.

When we plant a tree, we take care of that plant from the smallest stage of growth. We not only nurture that plant with water, air and fertilizers, but also protect it from any damage. Friendship is one such plant. One has to take care of friends, as one takes care of the plants, one grows. Most of us take friendship for granted. We believe that friends are always there, whenever we need them.

Even when you don’t say a word, other people can still learn a lot about what kind of person you are and what you are thinking and feeling. Finally, how to have happy friends? This is a very important question. Who likes friends who don't smile and laugh? Who enjoys meeting friends who look serious? Not any one of us. What about ourselves? Do we make happy friendships? Do we make our friends happy? Before thinking about others, wouldn't it be better if we first analyze our own selves?